I think the term "Super Mum" although in so many cases is used as a compliment can unknowingly and unintentionally place unnecessary pressure on Mothers.
I find that if I do something which to me seems "normal" as a mother and a friend comments "that's awesome you're such a Super Mum" all of a sudden I feel like I then need to live up to this title.
SUPER MUM, what does it take to be a Super Mum?
To live up to such a title surely we need some form of super power? So as far as I know these don't exist (would love someone to prove me otherwise) so maybe we need to stop using the term, even as a compliment.
Recently my husband was away for three nights. Prior to him leaving I was completely relaxed. I was not at all nervous about the thought of dealing with the kids, the house, work, daycare. I've got it covered, or so I thought.
That was until night one went completely pear shaped and all of a sudden I found myself willing him home!
Once the kids were FINALLY in bed on night one I called my sister. Basically in melt down mode as I was hungry and exhausted and those hunger mood swings where you turn from Mary Poppins to Hannibal Lecter had kicked in.
So I ate my dinner and chatted on the phone to her for almost an hour. Complaining about why the night had been so difficult, what a difficult day I had ahead of me the next day. Just the usual whinging and moaning.
Although all I did was talk by the end of the conversation I hung up feeling so much better. What seemed like this overwhelming issue now suddenly didn't feel so bad after I said it all out loud.
Friday morning came and after a tough first night (around 6 wakes, multiple bed swaps and a kick to the face by Mr 2), I was knackered! I wasn't too sure how I was meant to deal with the day ahead, however, I just went into auto pilot and started getting the kids ready for daycare.
We were almost ready for daycare drop off and I realised I had a text from my sister "I'm coming over tonight to cook you dinner and Joe will take care of the kids"!
I wanted to cry. This gesture made my entire day seem that much less daunting.
Friday at 6pm I walked in the door after gymnastics lessons to a home cooked meal, two kids laughing and playing with their Uncle Joe Joe and I was able to just "be"! I felt like I had suddenly come up for air.
It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to be Super Mum one day and wondering how you'll get through the next.
Although I'm lucky enough to not have to in fact "ask" (my sister and I claim we're twins born two years apart) and she just came to my aid, it IS OK TO ASK FOR HELP!
I find it difficult. I find that asking for help is accepting defeat. I find asking for help is saying "I can't do this on my own". This sort of thought pattern, this notion of trying to be a Super Mum can really run a person down.
I promise to myself that next time I'm feeling overwhelmed I WILL ASK FOR HELP (or call my sister because let's face it she will definitely read between the lines)!
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