Before having babies I considered myself to be reasonably fit. I enjoyed working out and I made exercise a priority. I worked in an environment where exercise was apart of the culture and my now husband loved training. So really, it wasn't all that hard to stay fit.
After kids came along I realised how hard it was to maintain my healthy weight. The truth is I never really lost my baby weight from my first let alone my second. In fact when I recently weight myself at the beginning of my new weight loss adventure I weighed more than when I was pregnant full term with my son (who is almost two).
Certain things had to be in order before I could loose weight.
Firstly, I had to have the energy. Living on minimal sleep for 17-months sure did take its toll on my body both physically and emotionally.
Secondly, I had to feel comfortable putting my kids in the crèche. Even though I had people I could call on to babysit I knew that it wouldn't work unless I did it on my own. I didn't want to have to call in favours.
Finally, I needed to want it. Prior to March when I started my adventure I didn't really care about my weight. I knew I had given birth to two children, having an amazing figure really wasn't on my to do list.
I started my journey with some light walking with our new puppy. Within three weeks I was feeling fitter, yet I knew that it wasn't enough. So one day when at the gym for my kids swimming class I walked over to reception and signed up. Just like that. Done.
Honestly, I haven't looked back. I am loving feeling fit and empowered. I not only feel more confident, I also feel clearer in my mind.
I have only lost a tiny amount of weight so far. To be honest it isn't even a noticeable amount. However, its the feeling of being stronger and in control that I am loving.
I engaged the help of a Personal Trainer who the first week into my journey broke her arm. I was so heartbroken for her and for me. She was the perfect fit. How could the journey end so soon. Yet, even "off-duty" she has helped me. She has motivated me to stay on track and has written me programs based around my own injuries and goals. Even in her own pain and frustration she has supported me on my adventure.
My husband has been amazing in supporting me (at times even over eager as he loves talking "work outs"). I know I could not have gone through this journey without his support. He notices every gram I loose and is constantly complimenting me.
Is there too much pressure though. Do we put too much pressure on ourselves to look like our friends, Mothers in the media, celebrities? Do we try and achieve the unachievable at times?
I think generally speaking society does put a large amount of pressure on us, however, I also believe we put so much pressure on ourselves.
So what I am focusing on this time, on this journey, on this particular adventure, is strength and power. When my four year old asks why I go to the gym all the time I answer "So Mummy can be strong and healthy". I don't mention weight loss or anything of the kind. I don't need her innocent little mind being consumed by these thoughts.
My daughter even said to me the other day "Mummy you have a very big tummy". I told her "Mummy has a big tummy because that's where you and James lived for 9-months". She was amazed. Her face lit up. She couldn't believe that was why I had this saggy tummy covered in stretch marks. It was almost like she realised what a miracle it really is.
This time my end goal is when I feel healthy again. I'm already on that road. I'm already feeling healthier and lighter. However, my ultimate goal is not going to be based around a particular image, weight or size.
I'm older now, my body has carried two babies full term and I am not the person I was in my early 20's.
The adventure isn't going to be easy the entire time, there will be highs and lows. Although only two months in I have already faced some hurdles (a knee injury and at times lack of confidence) I have vowed to myself to make this a lifestyle change.
I am not on a diet anymore, I am not focusing on what I eat. I eat what I feel like putting in my mouth, however, with all of my hard training this has naturally become healthy. My body is craving healthier and cleaner food. Yet when I am out and socialising with friends and family, I order what I want.
My husband loves exercise and is extremely into fitness, however, he does sometimes get caught up in the end goal. I say to him all the time "There is no promise of tomorrow, we may leave the earth this weight, be happy now, enjoy the process and enjoy every phase of the journey".
So I ask all Mums out there, STOP and remember how far you have come. Whether your journey is physical, mental, emotional or all of the above, you may not be exactly where you want to be, however, enjoy the journey, the adventure.
Although having an end goal is great and it keeps you motivated, life is all about the adventure. Do it in your time and on your terms, and most of all, have fun!
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